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The "friendzone" is an overblown concept I think... yes it signifies a desired relationship not working out but you still have a friend. A friend that could lead to future possibilities.

 

Take it from me, those are hard to come by.

 

Move on, but dont burn your bridges here.

Thank you. Another person who realizes the friendzone isn't real.

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I feel like there is a distinction to be made between friends first and failed relationship friendzoning. It's one thing if you start out with a good friend that you develop a crush on and end up disappointed it never materialized into something more. Or it did but it didn't last. The friendship was the foundation and because of that it is a confusing situation for a lot of people.

 

It's quite another if you specifically pursued someone with romantic intentions, fooled around and then get asked, "Hey, since this isn't working out do you want to join the friendzone junkyard of my rejected dates?" Worst consolation prize ever. Democrobot could have just settled for this and felt like $#!& about himself afterwards, or he can stand by his desires and let the chips fall where they may. She will respect him more for being completely unfazed by the whole deal and most importantly, infer he has more options available if she passes on him.

 

Hanging onto a woman who nexted you from the start because you're scared to lose her company is one of the least attractive things imaginable.

Funny this gets mentioned, because word around the school among our group of Chitter users is that I should start dating this other girl, which I've stated I am not opposed to (and I really wouldn't be). Reason I decided on the other girl is that we had a mutual liking of each other in a more romantic way and more overall similar interests. So really, more options available should she pass up IS a thing, which could be worked to my advantage.

 

In the mean time, I'll focus on other things to keep myself busy as to show I'm not fazed by what has happened. I'm working on a writing project to help fill my time, so I'll dedicate more time towards that.

 

 

EDIT

Yes Pat

that was her latest response. Since I was writing at the time, I didn't check it, so it still says unseen. I've also got 4 pages done and I'm just scratching the surface Edited by Democrobot
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I was referring to the "friends first" kind of friendzone.

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I still have a job... I think?

 

But that did not go well.

 

I'm off today and tomorrow on leave. I go back Wednesday. I'm going to to back with a new attitude on Wednesday, but the road to recovery will be difficult.

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Well, my fiancée and I have been trying to get a house (and by we, I mean her, because I have no credit) but apparently your student loans can prevent getting approved for a home loan. It really sucks that her real estate agent never thought of that beforehand, as she's spent $1300 on the home inspection and closing costs that would have gone towards the house if she had actually been able to close. That money is just gone now. And she's stuck in her parents house without a home since she moved out of her apt in preparation of getting a house.

 

Her paperwork has been in the hands of several professionals along the way and none of them ever saw her DebtToIncome ratio as a problem, but because she makes just barely under the minimum amount to be approved, she can't get the loan. And there's literally nobody with enough credit that co sign with her.

 

I was holding off on having my septic tank emptied last week because were planning to close and move this weekend. Now I have to pay $300 to have a septic tank drained that I'll probably only use for about another year.

 

I'm not really the Financially Educated one in our relationship so she bears most of the burden of responsibility for knowing what to do and how to do it. She's obviously pretty stressed out because she's homeless and doesn't know what to do. I mean, what the hell, people have to have somewhere to live. She has perfect credit and makes over $19/hr for Christ's sake. The only reason her loans are still so high is because she's back in school, meaning she can't make any payments on it right now (or I think that's what it is). Her credit is so good that I actually had to have her co-sign with me when I got her engagement ring. Yet that isn't enough.

 

This economy is so backwards. You aren't allowed to buy expensive things unless you build credit by going into debt. And then you're not allowed to buy basic living requirements if your debt is too high.

 

I'm a capitalist through and through, but this culture is so based around enslaving people through debt that it's disgusting.

 

/rant

 

Sent from my Nexus 6

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I'm sure you've heard this by now, but your student loans cripple your credit score. When I got into a car accident a few months ago and I needed to buy a new car, I had to go in with my mother as a co-signer because my credit was too low, despite never actually doing anything that could affect it positively or negatively. Don't have a credit card, I didn't need credit when I rented an apartment for a time, etc. I was told my student loans, despite not having to pay them off yet, hurt my credit because I wasn't doing anything to pay it off (or something like that).

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Oh one one eight nine nine nine eight eight one nine nine nine one one nine seven two five... Three.

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I'm sure you've heard this by now, but your student loans cripple your credit score. When I got into a car accident a few months ago and I needed to buy a new car, I had to go in with my mother as a co-signer because my credit was too low, despite never actually doing anything that could affect it positively or negatively. Don't have a credit card, I didn't need credit when I rented an apartment for a time, etc. I was told my student loans, despite not having to pay them off yet, hurt my credit because I wasn't doing anything to pay it off (or something like that).

 

Not having debt that you pay regularly also hurts your credit. 

Oh one one eight nine nine nine eight eight one nine nine nine one one nine seven two five... Three.

 

Has this ever happened to you?

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Bururian..not necessarily so.  It depends on your credit history, especially the last 7 years of it.  If there's too much fluctuation, and no activity, it can lower...slowly, but it can lower.  If you've an excellent history, it won't budge, at all, even if over a year of no history.

Edited by ignasia7
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I'm still waiting to see if I got approved for student loans for last semester. Something tells me I didn't get them.

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I've had this weird feeling in my right ear for a few days now. Best way I can describe it is that it's like a liquid/water feel, but I know I didn't get water in my ear in the past few days. It's really disorienting my hearing to be honest, especially when I listen to music via headphones or my little blu tooth speaker.

 

No idea if this is a sign of an ear infection or what, but it's really annoying either way.

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You're right, Ignasia, it *can* but depends on your situation like you explained.

 

Yang us, sounds like an early sign of an war infection to me. If symptoms persist you might want to go to the doctor or a minute clinic for an opinion other than my armchair diagnosis :P

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You're right, Ignasia, it *can* but depends on your situation like you explained.

 

Yang us, sounds like an early sign of an war infection to me. If symptoms persist you might want to go to the doctor or a minute clinic for an opinion other than my armchair diagnosis :P

Yangus, just quit the military and your war infection will clear up on its own! 😂
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Speaking of the military, I wonder how Jamirus is doing.

Yangus, yeah...I'd say see a doctor, especially since you've been feeling this for the past few days.  Ears are very fragile.  It's not worth pushing them to the limit if you're having trouble.  I know, I've had ear problems since I was little.  Don't sit on it.

Edited by ignasia7
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I don't remember being in any wars, but if the feeling keeps up I'll go see the army medi- er, my doctor.

Edited by YangustheLegendaryBandit
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Absolutely nothing! (HUH)

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I'm sure you've heard this by now, but your student loans cripple your credit score. When I got into a car accident a few months ago and I needed to buy a new car, I had to go in with my mother as a co-signer because my credit was too low, despite never actually doing anything that could affect it positively or negatively. Don't have a credit card, I didn't need credit when I rented an apartment for a time, etc. I was told my student loans, despite not having to pay them off yet, hurt my credit because I wasn't doing anything to pay it off (or something like that).

I've heard that before, but it isn't the case here. She has better credit than most people twice her age. This had to do with her Debt-to-Income-Ratio.

 

Sent from my Nexus 6

Edited by AustNerevar
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Day 3 since the "just friends" has happened and I'm starting to not mind it. Couple of guys offered to wingman me, though I don't see how well that'll work. I dislike bars, clubs, large groups of people, or being out late. School is probably the best shot.

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Day 3 since the "just friends" has happened and I'm starting to not mind it. Couple of guys offered to wingman me, though I don't see how well that'll work. I dislike bars, clubs, large groups of people, or being out late. School is probably the best shot.

I really wish I had gotten out there, sewn my oats, and had fun when I was younger.

 

Sent from my Nexus 6

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Day 3 since the "just friends" has happened and I'm starting to not mind it. Couple of guys offered to wingman me, though I don't see how well that'll work. I dislike bars, clubs, large groups of people, or being out late. School is probably the best shot.

I really wish I had gotten out there, sewn my oats, and had fun when I was younger.

 

Sent from my Nexus 6

 

 

Heh, I passed up on a lot of offers of companionship in college, I was a total jerk to a few lasses.  Left a lot hanging, with promises I'd make some time, but never did.  Then again I went through a crazy depressive period at the time and wasn't in the mood to play boyfriend, nor did I want to draw them into the darkness in my head.  I even let three female friends who made it obvious (inviting me into their rooms with just a robe or a towel on...their friends snickering from across the way when I came over, like they knew something), or when my friend Sarah invited me to see certain piercings, and I was the only male invited TO get a private screening, even asked me if I wanted to touch them.  I didn't care at the time, LOL.  WTF was wrong with me?  That was just the surface...I passed up so many offers in college.  I don't think I even realized my opportunities until years later.  I had an inkling with two girls I was friendly with.  Mel for one, who kept spreading her legs in front of me, and had nothing there...nothing.  She made sure I was looking too.  She found a bf after 3 months of throwing herself at me.  They ended up getting married (that was something Mel was about as well, getting married early on in life...maybe that scared me off?  I don't know, but she was fantastic as a person, I mean we hung out for hours and hours).

 

These were really great women too.  I really liked them, but I just.  I don't know.  I was foolish in college.  Very foolish.  It's a good lesson though.  To be able to recognize a lady as being worthwhile when it's in front of my face.  To know how to tell if I'm being hit on, or maybe it's more that I have value and if I am being hit on, I shouldn't pass it up.

 

My God.  High school.

 

Every art class, this one REALLY hot girl from a grade below, would bring in a red lollipop, wait for me to sit down, sit opposite me, would pop it in her mouth, then played footsy under the table...every class for months.  What she did to that sucker...oh man, I had no desire for that girl either.  None.

 

Kali Neal.  For 2 years, she put on skimpy clothes, told me she was a slut who would do anything to any guy (just in front of me, she was a good girl in front of everyone else), and she would douse herself in pheromones ONLY when she came to visit me.  She was cute, I liked her, but not like that.  She was obsessed with getting my clothes off.  Would try to get me drunk or stoned on baked goods she put pot in.  Even setup a threesome with a mutual friend.  LOL.  I passed all of that up too.  I am glad I passed that one up.  Kali was a monster in so many ways.  I don't really like a free lunch.  I like a little bit of a chase, or at least someone who isn't so blatant and in my face, or assumes that just because I'm a guy I like a loose woman.  I don't.  Never have.

 

OMG, the more I think about it, I passed up so many relationship and uh...other opportunities.

 

My friend Neda.  Total package in every way.  Gorgeous woman, smart, VERY smart, very savvy as well.  Artistic.  Expressive, and she had a mouth on her if she was upset.  I thought she liked my friend Zack.  Nope.  I didn't pay attention.  She invited me to every one of her gigs.  Every.  Single.  One.  Neda was an unbelievable woman in every respect.  EVERY respect.  One day she stopped calling, and ended up in a relationship with a carbon copy of me.  Looks, clothing style, even personal taste and mannerisms.  Hah, that was awesome to see.  She's really happy with him, so she ended up well and good.

 

This girl I met way back in junior high.  I went to this party for this girl.  There was this really cute blonde.  She paid attention to no one else but me the moment I walked into the door.  Never got her number.  Never forgot her face though, but that one...wow, I've met some amazing women in my life, some of whom I let slip through the cracks.

 

So many others.  I actually went after this one girl in High School I had no chance with.  Wasn't remotely interested, and I knew it.  I didn't want to date at the time, and preferred a scenario of the unobtainable.

 

In college, just have fun.  See women, meet women, if you find someone amazing, and she thinks you're great, go with it.  Seriously.  Go.  With.  It.  Don't pass up a good thing.  If it doesn't work out, you'll find someone else.  Careful though about women who are too loose.  That's when you run into problems.

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Day 3 since the "just friends" has happened and I'm starting to not mind it. Couple of guys offered to wingman me, though I don't see how well that'll work. I dislike bars, clubs, large groups of people, or being out late. School is probably the best shot.

 

I really wish I had gotten out there, sewn my oats, and had fun when I was younger.

Sent from my Nexus 6

 

Heh, I passed up on a lot of offers of companionship in college, I was a total jerk to a few lasses.  Left a lot hanging, with promises I'd make some time, but never did.  Then again I went through a crazy depressive period at the time and wasn't in the mood to play boyfriend, nor did I want to draw them into the darkness in my head.  I even let three female friends who made it obvious (inviting me into their rooms with just a robe or a towel on...their friends snickering from across the way when I came over, like they knew something), or when my friend Sarah invited me to see certain piercings, and I was the only male invited TO get a private screening, even asked me if I wanted to touch them.  I didn't care at the time, LOL.  WTF was wrong with me?  That was just the surface...I passed up so many offers in college.  I don't think I even realized my opportunities until years later.  I had an inkling with two girls I was friendly with.  Mel for one, who kept spreading her legs in front of me, and had nothing there...nothing.  She made sure I was looking too.  She found a bf after 3 months of throwing herself at me.  They ended up getting married (that was something Mel was about as well, getting married early on in life...maybe that scared me off?  I don't know, but she was fantastic as a person, I mean we hung out for hours and hours).

 

These were really great women too.  I really liked them, but I just.  I don't know.  I was foolish in college.  Very foolish.  It's a good lesson though.  To be able to recognize a lady as being worthwhile when it's in front of my face.  To know how to tell if I'm being hit on, or maybe it's more that I have value and if I am being hit on, I shouldn't pass it up.

 

My God.  High school.

 

Every art class, this one REALLY hot girl from a grade below, would bring in a red lollipop, wait for me to sit down, sit opposite me, would pop it in her mouth, then played footsy under the table...every class for months.  What she did to that sucker...oh man, I had no desire for that girl either.  None.

 

Kali Neal.  For 2 years, she put on skimpy clothes, told me she was a slut who would do anything to any guy (just in front of me, she was a good girl in front of everyone else), and she would douse herself in pheromones ONLY when she came to visit me.  She was cute, I liked her, but not like that.  She was obsessed with getting my clothes off.  Would try to get me drunk or stoned on baked goods she put pot in.  Even setup a threesome with a mutual friend.  LOL.  I passed all of that up too.  I am glad I passed that one up.  Kali was a monster in so many ways.  I don't really like a free lunch.  I like a little bit of a chase, or at least someone who isn't so blatant and in my face, or assumes that just because I'm a guy I like a loose woman.  I don't.  Never have.

 

OMG, the more I think about it, I passed up so many relationship and uh...other opportunities.

 

My friend Neda.  Total package in every way.  Gorgeous woman, smart, VERY smart, very savvy as well.  Artistic.  Expressive, and she had a mouth on her if she was upset.  I thought she liked my friend Zack.  Nope.  I didn't pay attention.  She invited me to every one of her gigs.  Every.  Single.  One.  Neda was an unbelievable woman in every respect.  EVERY respect.  One day she stopped calling, and ended up in a relationship with a carbon copy of me.  Looks, clothing style, even personal taste and mannerisms.  Hah, that was awesome to see.  She's really happy with him, so she ended up well and good.

 

This girl I met way back in junior high.  I went to this party for this girl.  There was this really cute blonde.  She paid attention to no one else but me the moment I walked into the door.  Never got her number.  Never forgot her face though, but that one...wow, I've met some amazing women in my life, some of whom I let slip through the cracks.

 

So many others.  I actually went after this one girl in High School I had no chance with.  Wasn't remotely interested, and I knew it.  I didn't want to date at the time, and preferred a scenario of the unobtainable.

 

In college, just have fun.  See women, meet women, if you find someone amazing, and she thinks you're great, go with it.  Seriously.  Go.  With.  It.  Don't pass up a good thing.  If it doesn't work out, you'll find someone else.  Careful though about women who are too loose.  That's when you run into problems.

The bold text though. She's said she thinks I'm a great person and honestly, I think she is too. She has mentioned some health issues regarding bones but I look beyond those. I guess this is the test to see if I'm worthy.
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Sorry about that, I got really carried away.

 

Then just have fun with her as a friend if you're actually ok with that, but don't make yourself indispensable to her.  That statement can mean a lot of things, but it's always good in my experience.

Edited by ignasia7
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Sorry about that, I got really carried away.

It was definitely an interesting read. Unfortunately, I don't really relate because I'm a fairly oblivious person and I also rarely go out. Still informative though.
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