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I second this, 1 and a half bases my friend, on a first date.  Nicely played stud, nicely played.

 

So where do you plan to take her on the second date?  Her house, or yours?

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booty grabbing

 

 

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I second this, 1 and a half bases my friend, on a first date.  Nicely played stud, nicely played.

So where do you plan to take her on the second date?  Her house, or yours?

Actually, I had planned the zoo. I was gonna go there with another friend, but then I thought "why not make it a double date?" Plus, she hasn't actually been to the zoo, so it'll be fun for both of us.
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Decided to order the Shin Megami Tensei IV OST. Surprisingly it said it would arrive between the 7th and the 12th this month, so that's pretty nice considering I was able to opt for free shipping. Looking forward to it.

Edited by YangustheLegendaryBandit
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Date went great. We had homemade pizza from a local pizzeria, then hung out at the mall, met with some people we knew and then went to the amusement park for a bit. Even scored some kisses and booty grabbing We've agreed to a second date!

Congratulations.

 

I can't even get to the first date, and I don't know why.

Edited by Erdrick The Hero
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All of this date talk really makes me want to link to the campfire/dating conversation scene from Tropic Thunder.

 

But it's pretty NSFW, so instead take this advice from said scene from Kirk Lazarus (aka Robert Downey Jr.'s character):

 

"It's simple as pie man; you plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes you say 'Hey! Baby, you and me's goin' on a date, that's the end of the story.'"

Edited by YangustheLegendaryBandit
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Date went great. We had homemade pizza from a local pizzeria, then hung out at the mall, met with some people we knew and then went to the amusement park for a bit. Even scored some kisses and booty grabbing We've agreed to a second date!

Congratulations.

 

I can't even get to the first date, and I don't know why.

 

 

Pick one, watch, learn, absorb info.  Move onto the next.  You'll notice trends and patterns in what to look for in your own behavior patterns.  Then look for them, see how you function, and rework those patterns or manner of speech and presentation so you feel more comfortable or really find that center where you're putting out a vibe that says, "I'm awesome and I know it," without being arrogant about it.  You'll get it, you're a smart guy.  This works both if you want to meet women, and date just one, or date a ton.

 

Guys that help teach guys how to be guys and not make certain mistakes in dating and love:

https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTodd

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTF6CEoSHHGTuJwk_zppupw

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQUAbC-DsfLsgzz9qSP4IIA

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQTAVxA4dNBCoPdHhX9nnoQ

 

Girls that help teach guys how to be guys and not make certain mistakes in dating and love:

https://www.youtube.com/user/jennelli17

https://www.youtube.com/user/marnikinrys

https://www.youtube.com/user/kezia2929

Edited by ignasia7
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All of this date talk really makes me want to link to the campfire/dating conversation scene from Tropic Thunder.

But it's pretty NSFW, so instead take this advice from said scene from Kirk Lazarus (aka Robert Downey Jr.'s character):

"It's simple as pie man; you plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes you say 'Hey! Baby, you and me's goin' on a date, that's the end of the story.'"

Funny you mention pie, because our ship name is Pai.

 

 

 

Date went great. We had homemade pizza from a local pizzeria, then hung out at the mall, met with some people we knew and then went to the amusement park for a bit. Even scored some kisses and booty grabbing We've agreed to a second date!

 

Congratulations.

 

I can't even get to the first date, and I don't know why.

 

Pick one, watch, learn, absorb info.  Move onto the next.  You'll notice trends and patterns in what to look for in your own behavior patterns.  Then look for them, see how you function, and rework those patterns or manner of speech and presentation so you feel more comfortable or really find that center where you're putting out a vibe that says, "I'm awesome and I know it," without being arrogant about it.  You'll get it, you're a smart guy.  This works both if you want to meet women, and date just one, or date a ton.

 

Guys that help teach guys how to be guys and not make certain mistakes in dating and love:https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTodd

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTF6CEoSHHGTuJwk_zppupw

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQUAbC-DsfLsgzz9qSP4IIA

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQTAVxA4dNBCoPdHhX9nnoQ

 

Girls that help teach guys how to be guys and not make certain mistakes in dating and love:https://www.youtube.com/user/jennelli17

https://www.youtube.com/user/marnikinryshttps://www.youtube.com/user/kezia2929

Leave it to Iggy to have resources for us to help better our quests.
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Nevermind.

Edited by YangustheLegendaryBandit
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Pat it was really nice going out with you today. I had a great time! I like you a lot. But I don't think I'm ready to open myself up to anyone yet.

That came this morning. Now. The way I see it, this could be taken in multiple ways.

1. 'Yet' is suggesting that this path continues, but at a slow pace she sets which will be the groundwork for this going forward.

2. 'Not ready' in conjunction with 'but' could suggest that it goes on hiatus until she reaches a mental/emotional state where she is ready.

3. I'm reading too much into this and shouldn't be allowed technology when I'm tired.

 

I'm wanting to believe 1 and 3 (to an extent), but my depression is saying number 2 is correct, except it never resumes. Man, depression can be a pain in my rear.

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Pat it was really nice going out with you today. I had a great time! I like you a lot. But I don't think I'm ready to open myself up to anyone yet.

That came this morning. Now. The way I see it, this could be taken in multiple ways.

1. 'Yet' is suggesting that this path continues, but at a slow pace she sets which will be the groundwork for this going forward.

2. 'Not ready' in conjunction with 'but' could suggest that it goes on hiatus until she reaches a mental/emotional state where she is ready.

3. I'm reading too much into this and shouldn't be allowed technology when I'm tired.

 

I'm wanting to believe 1 and 3 (to an extent), but my depression is saying number 2 is correct, except it never resumes. Man, depression can be a pain in my rear.

 

 

Did you tell her you wanted a relationship?

 

Essentially it's a $#!& (other word for "poo") test, and 1+3 is how you should approach this.  You should just be cool with hanging out with her, let her feel that you're fine either way, and tease her about not getting too excited the next time she sees you.  Act like you still expect to meet up again.

 

Something like, "That's fine, just contain yourself when you see me later tonight."  (or whenever your next date is).  Leave it at that. 

 

Say nothing more.  Don't even respond to her next couple of texts, until tomorrow or the next day, unless your date is tonight or tomorrow, and then wait until later, like 1~3 hours before the date, with a confirmation text (but come from the point that you expect to see her, and it'll be a fun time).  Just find other things to do in between.  Steel yourself, and repeat a mantra in the mirror about how awesome you are.  Think of honest to goodness things you've created, done for yourself, and done for others, then focus on the fact that you are a good guy and deserve good things in life, and you will always be a good guy.  Helps refocus the mind, even if you don't fully believe it yet, it takes time and repetition before it starts to sink in.

 

If she decides to break off the date with you (exceedingly unlikely if you just keep yourself cool and don't text her a storm of texts back), then play it cool again, and pretend like it's fine to you and see if she wants to reschedule.  If she totally blows you off, then move on, cry about it, talk to some buddies, dive into work, and let yourself have a few minutes to get your grief out of the way, so you can have an easier time moving past your depression over it.

Edited by ignasia7
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Pat it was really nice going out with you today. I had a great time! I like you a lot. But I don't think I'm ready to open myself up to anyone yet.

That came this morning. Now. The way I see it, this could be taken in multiple ways.

1. 'Yet' is suggesting that this path continues, but at a slow pace she sets which will be the groundwork for this going forward.

2. 'Not ready' in conjunction with 'but' could suggest that it goes on hiatus until she reaches a mental/emotional state where she is ready.

3. I'm reading too much into this and shouldn't be allowed technology when I'm tired.

 

I'm wanting to believe 1 and 3 (to an extent), but my depression is saying number 2 is correct, except it never resumes. Man, depression can be a pain in my rear.

 

 

Did you tell her you wanted a relationship?

 

Essentially it's a $#!& (other word for "poo") test, and 1+3 is how you should approach this.  You should just be cool with hanging out with her, let her feel that you're fine either way, and tease her about not getting too excited the next time she sees you.  Act like you still expect to meet up again.

 

Something like, "That's fine, just contain yourself when you see me later tonight."  (or whenever your next date is).  Leave it at that. 

 

Say nothing more.  Don't even respond to her next couple of texts, until tomorrow or the next day, unless your date is tonight or tomorrow, and then wait until later, like 1~3 hours before the date, with a confirmation text (but come from the point that you expect to see her, and it'll be a fun time).  Just find other things to do in between.  Steel yourself, and repeat a mantra in the mirror about how awesome you are.  Think of honest to goodness things you've created, done for yourself, and done for others, then focus on the fact that you are a good guy and deserve good things in life, and you will always be a good guy.  Helps refocus the mind, even if you don't fully believe it yet, it takes time and repetition before it starts to sink in.

 

If she decides to break off the date with you (exceedingly unlikely if you just keep yourself cool and don't text her a storm of texts back), then play it cool again, and pretend like it's fine to you and see if she wants to reschedule.  If she totally blows you off, then move on, cry about it, talk to some buddies, dive into work, and let yourself have a few minutes to get your grief out of the way, so you can have an easier time moving past your depression over it.

 

I've stated to her that I would not oppose a relationship if we both decide that we want one. If things happen and we don't form a relationship, she knows I'm okay with that (and I really am. I'd rather not have a relationship that won't work, instead opting for finding one better suited for myself).

 

As for responding to the messages, our schedules usually make it so that I can't respond immediately, so I don't even have to really worry about the whole messaging thing. We haven't set a time for the next date yet since exams are coming and even though I'm dropping out, I do plan on finishing this semester. The next couple of weeks will be wrapping up my semester followed by studying for my final exam.* I'm thinking sometime after April 20th will be the next time we have a date.

 

Regarding the self-confidence thingy, recently I've been receiving messages from people that say I have helped them out via Chitter (an anonymous app for university students where the posts are anonymous but the comments are not). So that combined with some self-conditioning should easily be able to improve my state of mind towards myself. The sheer fact that I'm aware of the issue already provides a foundation for improvement and the end result is clearly defined. The rock getting there will be rocky though.

 

*I may only have one class right now, but I'm at least doing well in it. I raised my grade 15% with one report. I think my lack of drive is due to not being challenged enough.

Edited by Democrobot
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I don't feel comfortable there anymore or even welcome to be honest.

 

I suppose I deserve it for making these errors. I'm shocked I haven't been fired, honestly. But the thought has occurred to me to resign. My reputation there is damaged, beyond repair I think.

I know that feel, brother.

 

I left my previous place of work after my psycho ex told everyone that I more or less raped her. She eventually told them the truth, I think, but the damage was done and all of the people in charge blamed me anyway for having sex outside of marriage. Anyway, I left there after losing some friends. It was an incredibly difficult time that I still have anxiety over frequently.

 

Sadly, sometimes nothing can be done to restore your reputation. It will be healthier for your mental state and your professional life to just find a better job.

 

What kind of working environment do you have?

 

 

Sent from my Nexus 6

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And now some inspiration from Hulk Hogan:

 

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And now some inspiration from Hulk Hogan:

 

I didn't know what to expect from that, but I kind of enjoyed it.

 

So, I finished my report. Now all I have to do for the next few weeks is study for my final exam and write about everything I have done for others and myself (my friend told me to write that stuff down because she feels it may somehow be inspirational to other people)

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Fates, see if you can get a letter of recommendation from your current boss when you quit. He might feel sorry enough for you to do it. You don't want your next potential employer to call him up and have him badmouth you. The recommendation almost guarantees only good things will be said. 

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I think I just want to be friends right now

She just sent that. I haven't clicked the message yet, so she doesn't know I have seen what it says yet. A part of me is a little bummed about that, but at the same time, 'right now' does suggest that it could go further. I think I'll respond to it this evening and if I need an excuse for some reason, I'll say I was writing a report and not checking my messages.

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It would be a mistake to write back a long, heartfelt response about what a great time you had, being friends is cool with me, etc. Playing the friendzone at all in an attempt to get close is a mistake really.

 

Don't even wait to respond like you are pondering what to say, A simple sentence of something playful like, "Gotcha, but if you ever decide you want to go out again, have some more fun, give me a call." That's it, don't text anymore as badly as you might want to.

 

You are drawing a clear line in the sand without explicitly turning down the friend offer. You aren't being butthurt about the rejection, but almost knowingly saying that she will come back for more without being arrogant. You are the prize so act like it, don't ever forget it. When she runs into you again she might remember she misses you because you didn't make yourself too available for emotional support.

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It would be a mistake to write back a long, heartfelt response about what a great time you had, being friends is cool with me, etc. Playing the friendzone at all in an attempt to get close is a mistake really.

 

Don't even wait to respond like you are pondering what to say, A simple sentence of something playful like, "Gotcha, but if you ever decide you want to go out again, have some more fun, give me a call." That's it, don't text anymore as badly as you might want to.

 

You are drawing a clear line in the sand without explicitly turning down the friend offer. You aren't being butthurt about the rejection, but almost knowingly saying that she will come back for more without being arrogant. You are the prize so act like it, don't ever forget it. When she runs into you again she might remember she misses you because you didn't make yourself too available for emotional support.

 

Highlighting for emphasis.

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My response

Gotcha, but if you ever decide you want to go out again, have some more fun, shoot me a message.

10/10 for originality. But I digress. That quote is all I sent and left it at that. I think my next step would be to find ways to help occupy my time. That's where my writing comes in I suppose. Interesting how these things work out, eh?
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If only I'd known better... The friendzone is a special place in hell.

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If only I'd known better... The friendzone is a special place in hell.

This is a learning experience for us both. Iggy shall teach us the ways of the Forc- wait, that's not right
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The "friendzone" is an overblown concept I think... yes it signifies a desired relationship not working out but you still have a friend. A friend that could lead to future possibilities.

 

Take it from me, those are hard to come by.

 

Move on, but dont burn your bridges here.

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The "friendzone" is an overblown concept I think... yes it signifies a desired relationship not working out but you still have a friend. A friend that could lead to future possibilities.

 

Take it from me, those are hard to come by.

 

Move on, but dont burn your bridges here.

 

There are ways of getting out of the friendzone.  Best way is to not allow her to make you a friend, but at the same time walk the line by not ignoring her, and hanging out from time to time, let her know you're doing your thing, and test the waters now and again, especially after working on the language game and building that oh-so-critical self confidence.  If she bites at that point, then great, you've a relationship, and if not, or you feel comfortable remaining a friend, then you've a friend and its easy to move onto other women for the pursuit of something more.

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Wow, we're about to hit 300 pages in this topic!

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I feel like there is a distinction to be made between friends first and failed relationship friendzoning. It's one thing if you start out with a good friend that you develop a crush on and end up disappointed it never materialized into something more. Or it did but it didn't last. The friendship was the foundation and because of that it is a confusing situation for a lot of people.

 

It's quite another if you specifically pursued someone with romantic intentions, fooled around and then get asked, "Hey, since this isn't working out do you want to join the friendzone junkyard of my rejected dates?" Worst consolation prize ever. Democrobot could have just settled for this and felt like $#!& about himself afterwards, or he can stand by his desires and let the chips fall where they may. She will respect him more for being completely unfazed by the whole deal and most importantly, infer he has more options available if she passes on him.

 

Hanging onto a woman who nexted you from the start because you're scared to lose her company is one of the least attractive things imaginable. 

Edited by En Garde
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  • Woodus changed the title to What's New With You?

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