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Marrowfrost

Hey if it's okay I'm going to rant...

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I'm kinda just in a really bad mood, so I'm going to rant about the current happenings in my life if that's okay. It's really long, though since it's over the course of this month. ^_^'

Spoiler

January 6:

I’ve been having a couple of issues with my family recently, mainly with my dad. But here’s some background before I say what happened, since it’s kind of important to know: I can’t go to sleep properly at all; I’ve tried many different methods of getting sleep and none of them work. I’ve usually ended up being unable to sleep until 8 am or later. And I also have a problem with sleeping in; even when I do fall asleep around my actual bedtime (9:30 pm) I always end up waking up around noon or later than that. Recently it’s been past 4 or 5 pm when I wake up. I’ve tried to talk to my parents about it, but they just say that I’m always on my chromebook or on my 2ds and that it’s my fault for staying up so late when I can’t even control it. My dad basically just tells me to shut up and says that I never listen to him and how selfish I am on a daily basis. So there’s the background info.

Today I couldn’t wake up until 5 something, and the only reason I was able to wake up was because my dad was yelling and cursing at something (he always is). I could barely get out of my bed, but I could tell dinner was ready because I heard my sisters rushing to the kitchen. I was still tired, and my body decided to make me sleep some more. Once I managed to get to the kitchen, the only thing that was left was basically just table scraps. So I ended up just not eating since I could barely fix myself anything anyways (barely anything left) and went to my dad’s desktop to check on my other gmail account (because they blocked using other gmail accounts on our chromebooks). My dad “reminded” me that dinner was ready, to which I replied “Yeah, thanks for the scraps.”. Okay, it might’ve been rude but my point still stands. No one calls me for dinner when it’s ready. No one. It’s the reason why I haven’t had actual dinner since two weeks ago; I’ve had to microwave chicken noodle soup and hope for the best (it doesn’t even fill me up and I just end up starving anyways). Then he just snapped me, saying that I wouldn’t be hungry if I’d gotten of my lazy butt (see I’m censoring here) and that I needed to stop going on my chromebook for so long.

Yesterday at church, me and my sister Cottonkit had a fight (okay I’m going to be blunt but Cottonkit is my least favorite of the 3 little siblings so that should say enough on how I feel about her and how she feels about me). She was annoying me the entire time, and I told her to knock it off. My dad got involved and he told Cottonkit to stop it, and then he told me that I needed to learn how to ignore people. We argued (in church fyi) about it until I told him to shut up and that he doesn’t listen to me either. My dad also allows my toddler sister to constantly say things like “[my real name here]’s ugly!” or “Bad [my real name here]!” over and over. I tell her to stop, and my dad tells me to “ignore it” again. She keeps going, and my sisters Cottonkit and sometimes even Midnightkit join in too (remember how I said me and Cottonkit don’t get along? This is a main reason why). I yell at them to knock it off/shut up, and my dad yells at me to shut up and learn how to put up with it (sometimes he even says to stop harassing them).

It’s been about three weeks, but my dad also took down my room’s door again (for the 5th time) because I kept getting late to school and that I can’t seem to fall asleep properly as a punishment. He even threatened that if I didn’t stop getting tardy to school, that I would get arrested. He made me watch/read a video/article about a kid my age getting arrested for being late to school. I also asked him last week if I could get my door back, and he said these words exactly: “When you think about your actions and how you could earn it back.” So as you can tell, I’m pretty much at my breaking point with him. I’ve been putting up with his treatment of me for a long time (before he became a Christian he was actually somewhat abusive to me; eg throwing me across my bedroom when I was 7 because I didn’t share a toy with one of my sisters, and I landed against a wooden drawer head-first) and it was honestly expected at some point in my life. I…really don’t like living with my father any more. I don’t feel safe, especially with the fact that I’m trans (genderfluid was honestly just something for me to use until I sorted things out) and how violent/unpredictable he can be at times, and what makes it worse is the fact that idk how he feels about LGBTQ+. The only people I’d actually feel safe coming out to are my friends, and even then I have no clue how they feel about it either. The only reason I’m looking forward to school is so I can just get away from my family. They make me feel miserable and the suicidal thoughts are coming back. They make me want to kill myself sometimes. Long story short, I am not having a good 2019 so far and I despise this year already.

(I just needed to rant; I'm this close to snapping and it isn't enjoyable at all.)
 

January 10:

So things with my sleeping have gotten worse. I got a new alarm clock and IT DIDN'T WORK EITHER. I ended up missing another day. As you can tell, my mom is not happy about this. She said that she's fed up with me "not listening" and that the police are going to come today. My mom went out and talked to the bus driver. She just came back in saying that in the "10 minutes" that she was talking to them (OBVIOUSLY NOT TEN MINUTES; LESS THAN TEN MINUTES) I should've gotten up and got on the bus. Yeah, just magically get dressed, eat, and do my hair in less than 10 minutes. That's what she wanted, and I "didn't listen" to her again. She just said that she's calling an officer herself; she knows my dad has already shown me that video/article about the kid my age getting arrested for missing school. I don't want to live with my family any more. No one ever tries to help me out and just shifts the blame onto me half the time. I'm sick of it. She's forcing me to clean up all day because of it. My mom has already threatened to call my dad if I don't do anything she likes. I want to die, and no one irl will care. I  just cut myself and I'm bleeding already. I'm tempted to do more because life's that shitty at the moment.

January 26:

So after all that, I sent an email to my friends about the suicidal thoughts and I had to go to the hospital, but my dad went with me. Luckily I had the option of staying in the hospital room by myself. So afterwards, it was okay but then like what happened about two years ago (because I had went to the ER for the same exact reason in 7th grade) everything went back to the same exact way it was before. Except my dad fixes me breakfast now, even though I don't need it fixed for me. The only reason I'm now getting sleep is because I still actively avoid my family in my bedroom, but for longer durations of my time and I get bored easily, leading to me falling asleep faster.

My dad...he's acting almost the exact same since what happened a few weeks ago. Every so often he snaps at me or my siblings, but mostly all of us. Today he told me to shut up on the way to church and back and acts like I'm the one causing mass hysteria between my siblings. On the way there I said that he's the one making it seem like we're fighting. (Ergo, we weren't) He then just laughed and in a sugar coated way, he basically told me I'm dumb. And then on the way back, he told me that I needed to shut up, but went on a rant. Later he told me that I'm absolutely disrespectful, and that my counselor/therapist(s) need to start working on that with me ASAP. The thing that's new (well not really) is that he keeps doing this, and I quote him exactly: "Do you need a hug? Do you want a hug? I'm giving you a hug." The thing is, he knows I absolutely hate being touched/hugged. And he does this multiple times everyday. So basically he's disrespecting my personal space almost all the time and won't stop.

Another thing that he does very often is whenever my little sister's friend comes over, the three of them always tease me. And they act like it's a joke. What do they tease me about? Well, my sister's friend has an older brother in the grade above mine. And apparently it's funny to joke around and say that I have a crush on him when 1) I don't even know him, 2) I've never even seen him, and 3) I've never even talked to him. Yet apparently I do according to them?? My dad always says things like "[my birth name here] watches ___ out the window while he mows the lawn" or something along those lines. And then the other two just laugh and encourage it. And they know I don't like that guy or even know him, yet they keep doing it. My mom tells me to just ignore them, but how the hell am I supposed to ignore them when they keep saying stuff about me that isn't true just to annoy me when they know it isn't true and aggravates me, and when my dad just hugs me and completely disregards my personal space?? And my dad still gets onto me about "ignoring" my sisters still. He acts like I'm the bane of all the problems within our family, and that I need to shut up and deal with it. Today in the store my little sister (a different one) just scratched me on my hand on purpose that left a small mark on my hand, and he tells me to ignore it because she's a toddler and doesn't know better. What the hell do you mean by that, she just scratched me on purpose and you're allowing her to do that? Excuse me, but you know that she treats me like #$*! most of the entire day, but you just say that she loves me whenever she actually shows affection for me whenever the other two act like #$*!s too her. So basically I'm still salty over that too.

And I also had a family therapy session with my parents, and then they both said that they were abused by their parents. Well, that's upsetting and all but that means #$*! if I've been to the ER for suicidal reasons twice, and you just went back to how you treated me beforehand which was the major reason why I even had those feelings to begin with. (This mainly applies to my dad tho) I was so happy once they finally left so I could talk to my therapist alone, because it was then starting to become a pity party for them.

My dad also like he does nothing wrong and is entitled to make all my decisions for me. Currently my door still hasn't been put back up, and I don't have any privacy at all. I'm on the sucky period (this is why I hate being a biologically born girl) and surprise surprise, I still have no privacy. But I haven't told them about it, because both my parents are going to have me wear these adult sized diapers because in their words I'm a "slob" and can't take care of myself at all. Anyone can just waltz in whenever they want, and I don't like it. But apparently my dad's opinion is holy, so I don't get my door back until another 5 months (exaggeration, but my point stands). Now he's going to move my room to the basement (fully finished but it's a shitty basement) and he knows I don't want to have my room down there; I have arachnophobia and there's basically a horde of spiders down there. (I once found a spider about 1.3 inches in the sink.) Then there's also some weird bugs in there that scare the ever living #$*! out of me, one of which that scared me away from going downstairs for 1 and a half of a month. So my opinion doesn't matter because once again, my dad doesn't care at all how I feel about anything so why do I matter? After all, I'm just a shitty, ungrateful slob that will just end up getting themselves beaten up or fail in adulthood and end up on the streets. I'm sick and tired of this recurring behavior towards me.

I want to get away from my family, but I can't. They give me all my medications that I need, and there's no one I can turn to atm. I don't feel safe where I'm living at all. My dad's behavior has driven me to want to run away when I was 7 or 8, along with my sisters. The other reason was because we'd accidentally ruined the bathroom and we were that scared of my dad finding out that we considered running away. My dad found out, and he beat us bad for it but he went almost all out with me. One of them tried to run away twice. Once my dad found out, he dragged her back home and spanked her with a belt for 10 minutes. My sisters are also jerks to me, and they antagonize me most of the time I'm around them. With the recent snow and cold we've been getting where I live, the snow days are abundant as frick. Which means that I have to spend time with my family more. There's a reason I look forwards to school, and I hate school.

So yeah I'm not in the best of moods after that. And the combination of high functioning depression + autism + mood disorder just makes it feel 100 times better!!! (#sarcasm) And yes, I've been properly diagnosed with all three of these before anyone starts on that. I just really need to rant because man am I salty about having to go through #$*! like this almost every day of my life.

January 28:
 

I was hoping that I'd have school today, but nope we had a snow day. So I have to deal with my family even more today. Great. I told them that I don't want my room moved downstairs, but they don't listen like usual. My dad told me to basically shut up and that I'm getting a room downstairs. (My sisters are too, but they actually want a room down there for some reason.) And to make things worse, I'm getting the room that I've very much stated that I don't want at all. (It's the room with the most spiders and silverfish in it, ick. I have a phobia of both. My family is aware of this.) And when I told my dad, he said it's because it's the only other room that has windows down there. He snapped at me when he said it too.

The only reason they're moving me and my sisters to the basement is because they want to replace my room with the guest room and my sister's rooms with my littlest sister's room. And they're doing it right now, so yeah I'm very much salty and upset at the moment.

January 30:

So, right now another thing happened:

My dad was screaming at my sisters, most notably the second oldest one. (Because she gets yelled at the second most) From what I could tell, they for some reason cut the legs off of one of the toys in their toy room. And my dad punished them of course, but he just screamed at them instead. And their punishment was to sit on the couch for 4 hours, and afterwards he just went on about how stupid they were.

Not in the most pleasant mood after waking up to that, especially since we've had no school for almost the entire week. (So I've been having to deal with him for this long)

So yeah...January has not been a fun month for me lol and my parents are acting like huge jerks. I really want to get away from them, but...*sigh*

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I'm sorry that I just noticed this topic.  #1 - I'm sorry, but no one here is going to be able to help.  That's not me being a jerk, that's just the reality of it.  I'm a teacher and have had some mild experience with this kind of thing before, but online help can make you feel better a bit, but there's nothing we're doing that's going to really help much.  You need help IRL.  Please, please, please, let someone at school know about this.  Talk to a guidance counselor.  Talk to a trusted teacher.  There's going to have to be some sort of intervention (and I've got no idea what - family counseling, ...?) to make this in any way better.  YOU need to be the one to start this as you're already showing signs of needing that attention.  Get help.  Get it today.  Talk to someone you know today.  Please.

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I agree with Platty, you should seek help, as you do need some direct and consistent guidance.  Especially related to your parents seeming indifference to things and modality of dealing with things feeling like they don't care about you.  I do not doubt they care about you very much, but this is their method of dealing with you, and perhaps they don't know how to handle you, or haven't done any research in sleeping habits, and assume you should simply act a certain way and do not know how to reach you.  Sadly a lot of parents are like that.  They went through life a certain way, their parents acted a certain way, they follow suit expecting the same results, and frankly that isn't always what happens, especially given new factors in life thanks to technology that does have a direct impact on behaviour, and for the youth, especially since WiFi, can be HIGHLY negative in terms of behaviour modification.

So definitely seek a guidance counselor, as they're likely more well read on current science and subjects regarding youth behaviour, and can offer you advice.dsdsssssssssssd

1) Do you have a cell phone as well? 

2) Do you have a smart meter on your home, and if so, is its location near your head?

3) Do you actually stay up late on your chromebook and Nintendo 2DS?

4) Are there any lights in your room?  Especially blue lights?

5) I assume you have a wifi router in your home.  Is it in your room or near it?

 

I can find articles for you if you want, but there is a LOT of research into wi-fi, constant light sources (especially blue light), and using electronics too long that triggers restlessness and lack of sleep, or inability to fall asleep, or reach REM (the CRITICAL rest period) when sleeping.  If the body lacks for sleep, it will get it anyway it can.  I know, I had insomnia from about 9 until I was 19.  Most of that had to do with certain conditions in the home, and when I moved out, I slept for my first year in college often until 12, unless I had an early class.  I'd go to bed early most of the time too, being very sleepy.

When the eyes are exposed to light of any kind, especially an inconsistent source or a blue light source, it leaks in through the pupils and keeps the part of the mind that deals with occular vision awake, which reduces or cancels out REM sleep.  Blue light is especially dangerous in any wavelength.

WiFi signals, whether they're from a computer, a router, a cell phone, a smart meter (those are HIGH powered and put out a LOT of signal, enough to disrupt heart rhythms and tweak pace makers to kill anyone who has one if there's a sudden signal shift that hits the signal range of the pace maker, even on the other end of a 3000 SqFt house, plus they're literal bombs that could go off randomly if there's enough surge in the system, and will take out all smart appliances with them...I wish I were joking, they are very dangerous).

Sorry, lost track, but WiFi signals can affect the brain directly.  Both in terms of reduction of water in the system, and shifting/altering your nervous system and the rate of your cardiovascular system (studies from 2G have shown this, since 4G it's much worse, and current WiFi routers output 4G-range signals).  It can disrupt sleep patterns by generating signal pollution in the room that disrupts thought patterns causing restlessness and making it harder to stay asleep consistently.  It's usually best to turn off all wireless devices if you can, and assure your head it pointed away from any router, and your room is as far from any smart meter as you can get.  This is also true of electromagnetic pollution from being near power poles, or radio frequency pollution by being near radio towers (to a lesser degree, but US army and CDC and multiple university studies have shown these signals in bulk can disrupt sleep).

Some people are much more susceptible to this than others.  MUCH more.  Where their whole physiology or mentality is directly affected by WiFi pollution.

If you spend too much time in front of a computer, it creates the condition of overdosing on dopamine, as the process of looking up things online, waiting for responses on social media, playing games all create a dopamine hit.   Responsible games spread these out wider and further away, so you intentionally desire to get up off your seat after finally getting that piece of gear, or give up for the night to try again the next day, or you know it's a very long quest that based on your workload should take several days.  Creates an addiction of sorts that keeps the user on and wanting more, in a pattern in the brain similar to heroine addiction actually.

 

I would suggest trying to put your computer down by will alone around 11, turning everything off, assuring there are no wifi signals and no lights in the room, heading to sleep, and try this for a period of a few days.  See what happens.

Edited by ignasia

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I agree with Platty, you should seek help, as you do need some direct and consistent guidance.  Especially related to your parents seeming indifference to things and modality of dealing with things feeling like they don't care about you.  I do not doubt they care about you very much, but this is their method of dealing with you, and perhaps they don't know how to handle you, or haven't done any research in sleeping habits, and assume you should simply act a certain way and do not know how to reach you.  Sadly a lot of parents are like that.  They went through life a certain way, their parents acted a certain way, they follow suit expecting the same results, and frankly that isn't always what happens, especially given new factors in life thanks to technology that does have a direct impact on behaviour, and for the youth, especially since WiFi, can be HIGHLY negative in terms of behaviour modification.
So definitely seek a guidance counselor, as they're likely more well read on current science and subjects regarding youth behaviour, and can offer you advice.dsdsssssssssssd
1) Do you have a cell phone as well? 
2) Do you have a smart meter on your home, and if so, is its location near your head?
3) Do you actually stay up late on your chromebook and Nintendo 2DS?
4) Are there any lights in your room?  Especially blue lights?
5) I assume you have a wifi router in your home.  Is it in your room or near it?
 
I can find articles for you if you want, but there is a LOT of research into wi-fi, constant light sources (especially blue light), and using electronics too long that triggers restlessness and lack of sleep, or inability to fall asleep, or reach REM (the CRITICAL rest period) when sleeping.  If the body lacks for sleep, it will get it anyway it can.  I know, I had insomnia from about 9 until I was 19.  Most of that had to do with certain conditions in the home, and when I moved out, I slept for my first year in college often until 12, unless I had an early class.  I'd go to bed early most of the time too, being very sleepy.
When the eyes are exposed to light of any kind, especially an inconsistent source or a blue light source, it leaks in through the pupils and keeps the part of the mind that deals with occular vision awake, which reduces or cancels out REM sleep.  Blue light is especially dangerous in any wavelength.
WiFi signals, whether they're from a computer, a router, a cell phone, a smart meter (those are HIGH powered and put out a LOT of signal, enough to disrupt heart rhythms and tweak pace makers to kill anyone who has one if there's a sudden signal shift that hits the signal range of the pace maker, even on the other end of a 3000 SqFt house, plus they're literal bombs that could go off randomly if there's enough surge in the system, and will take out all smart appliances with them...I wish I were joking, they are very dangerous).
Sorry, lost track, but WiFi signals can affect the brain directly.  Both in terms of reduction of water in the system, and shifting/altering your nervous system and the rate of your cardiovascular system (studies from 2G have shown this, since 4G it's much worse, and current WiFi routers output 4G-range signals).  It can disrupt sleep patterns by generating signal pollution in the room that disrupts thought patterns causing restlessness and making it harder to stay asleep consistently.  It's usually best to turn off all wireless devices if you can, and assure your head it pointed away from any router, and your room is as far from any smart meter as you can get.  This is also true of electromagnetic pollution from being near power poles, or radio frequency pollution by being near radio towers (to a lesser degree, but US army and CDC and multiple university studies have shown these signals in bulk can disrupt sleep).
Some people are much more susceptible to this than others.  MUCH more.  Where their whole physiology or mentality is directly affected by WiFi pollution.
If you spend too much time in front of a computer, it creates the condition of overdosing on dopamine, as the process of looking up things online, waiting for responses on social media, playing games all create a dopamine hit.   Responsible games spread these out wider and further away, so you intentionally desire to get up off your seat after finally getting that piece of gear, or give up for the night to try again the next day, or you know it's a very long quest that based on your workload should take several days.  Creates an addiction of sorts that keeps the user on and wanting more, in a pattern in the brain similar to heroine addiction actually.
 
I would suggest trying to put your computer down by will alone around 11, turning everything off, assuring there are no wifi signals and no lights in the room, heading to sleep, and try this for a period of a few days.  See what happens.

I also have to agree with this group as well.

Sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone just to chat, let me give you a list of numbers that really might help you out

In the United States, contact Your Life Your Voice:
1-800-448-3000
Text VOICE to 20121
http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/
email
For other countries, contact Befrienders:
1-800-448-3000
http://www.befrienders.org/about-self-harm


For Eating Disorders

In the US, contact the National Eating Disorders Association: 1-800-931-2237; info@myneda.org; www.NationalEatingDisorders.org


Suicide Prevention

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact your local law enforcement or a suicide hotline immediately.

Please see below for suicide hotlines by country



Worldwide
Befrienders
http://www.befrienders.org
United States
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
http://www.facebook.com/800273talk/ (chat support)
1 800 273 TALK (8255)
Veteran/Military Crisis Line (for active U.S. service members, veterans, and family members)
http://www.veteranscrisisline.net
1 800 273 8255
SMS: 838255
The Trevor Project (for LGBT youth, friends and family members)
http://www.thetrevorproject.org
1 866 488 7386
Crisis Text Line
http://www.facebook.com/crisistextline (chat support)
SMS: Text "HERE" to 741-741
Canada
Kids Help Phone (for youth under 20)
1-800-668-6868
For people over 20, find a crisis center that serves your area:
http://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/
First Nations and Inuit Hope for Wellness Help Line
1-855-242-3310 (toll-free, 24 hours)
United Kingdom
Samaritans
http://www.samaritans.org
116 123
jo@samaritans.org
PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
0800 068 41 41 (weekdays 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM, weekends 2:00 PM to 10:00 PM, and Bank Holidays 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM)
SMS: 07786 209 697
pat@papyrus-uk.org
Ireland
Samaritans
http://www.samaritans.org
116 123
jo@samaritans.org
Pieta House - Suicide and Self-harm Crisis Center
http://www.pieta.ie/
1800 247 247 (24 hour Freephone helpline)
SMS: Text HELP to 51444 (standard message rates apply)
mary@pieta.ie
Jigsaw – the National Center for Youth Mental Health
http://www.jigsaw.ie/
01-4727 010
info@jigsaw.ie
Germany
Telefonseelsorge
http://www.telefonseelsorge.de
https://chat.telefonseelsorge.org (chat support)
0800 111 0 111
0800 111 0 222
Nummer gegen Kummer
https://www.nummergegenkummer.de
0800 111 0 550 (adults)
0800 111 0 333 (teens)
Argentina
Hablemos de Todo
http://www.hablemosdetodo.gob.ar
Australia
ReachOut Australia
https://au.reachout.com/urgent-help
13 11 14
Kids Helpline
http://www.kidshelp.com.au
1800 55 1800
Headspace (ages 12-25)
http://headspace.org.au/
beyondblue
http://bb.org.au/1lmergR (email any time or chat online between 3:00 PM - midnight AET)
1300 22 4636
Austria
Rat auf Draht
http://rataufdraht.orf.at
147
Diözese Linz
http://www.telefonseelsorge.at/
142
Belgium
Centrum Ter Preventie Van Zelfdoding
http://www.zelfmoord1813.be
1813
Centre de Prévention du Suicide
http://www.preventionsuicide.be
0800 32 123
Brazil
CVV
http://www.cvv.org.br
http://www.cvv.org.br/chat.php (chat support)
188
atendimento@cvv.org.br
Bulgaria
Национален център за безопасен интернет (Bulgarian Safer Internet Center)
https://www.safenet.bg/bg/
124123
Национална телефонна линия за деца (National Child Helpline)
http://116111.bg/
116 111
Chile
Todo Mejora
https://todomejora.org/apoyo/ (email or chat support)
Croatia
HRABRI Telefon (for teens)
http://www.hrabritelefon.hr/
https://www.facebook.com/HrabriTelefon/
116 111 (Monday - Friday, 9:00 AM - 8:00 PM)
Czech Republic
Linka bezpečí
http://www.linkabezpeci.cz
116 111
Pražská linka důvěry
222 580 697
Linka důvěry Ostrava
http://www.mnof.cz/linka_duvery
596 618 908
737 267 939
Linka duševní tísně Most
http://www.mostknadeji.eu/linka-dusevni-tisne
476 701 444 (from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM)
Skype: ldt.most
Linka důvěry DKC
241 484 149
Skype: ld_dkc
Denmark
Livslinien
http://www.livslinien.dk
70 201 201 (11:00-23:00 daily)
BørneTelefonen
https://bornetelefonen.dk/ring
116 111 (11:00-23:00 daily)
Estonia
MTÜ Peaasjad
https://www.peaasi.ee/
http://peaasi.ee/kysi-noustajalt/ (online counseling)
https://www.facebook.com/Peaasi.ee/
Finland
Suomen Mielenterveysseura
http://www.mielenterveysseura.fi
010 195 202
France
S.O.S Amitié
http://www.sos-amitie.com
09 72 39 40 50
Net Ecoute (for teens)
http://www.netecoute.fr/
0 800 200 000
Ghana
Step To Life Foundation Ghana
0244239629
Greece
Suicide Prevention Centre Klimaka NGO
1018
Hamogelo (for teens under 18)
http://www.hamogelo.gr/37.1/Ethnikh-thlefonikh-grammh-gia-ta-poidia-SOS-1056
1056
Hong Kong
The Samaritan Befrienders Hong Kong (香港撒瑪利亞防止自殺會)
http://www.help4suicide.com.hk
http://www.sbhk.org.hk
2389 2222
soulbox@sbhk.org.hk
The Samaritans Hong Kong (香港撒瑪利亞會)
http://www.samaritans.org.hk
2896 0000
Hungary
LESZ
http://www.sos-116-123.eoldal.hu/
https://www.facebook.com/eOldal.hu/
116 123
sos@sos505.hu
Kek Vonal
http://www.kek-vonal.hu/index.php/hu/lelkisegely-vonal
http://www.kek-vonal.hu/index.php/hu/interaktiv-kapcsolatok
116-111
Iceland
Rauði krossinn (Red Cross)
https://www.raudikrossinn.is/polski
https://www.facebook.com/raudikrossinn/
1717 (open 24/7)
India
AASRA
http://www.aasra.info
91-22-27546669
aasrahelpline@yahoo.com
iCall
022-25521111
icall@tiss.edu
Israel
ERAN
http://www.eran.org.il
1201
SAHAR
http://www.sahar.org.il (Hebrew)
http://www.sahar.org.il/?categoryId=63068 (Arabic)
Italy
Telefono Azzurro (for teens under 18)
http://www.azzurro.it
http://consulenzaonline.azzurro.it/xchatty/chat.html (chat support)
19696
Telefono Amico
http://www.telefonoamico.it
199 284 284
Japan
Tokyo Suicide Prevention Center(東京自殺防止センター)
http://www.befrienders-jpn.org/
03-5286-9090 (open year round from 8:00 PM to 6:00 AM / (Tuesday only) from 5:00 PM to 6:00 AM)
Inochi-no-Denwa(日本いのちの電話連盟)
http://www.inochinodenwa.org/lifeline.php
0570-783-556 (Navi dial from 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM)
Kenya
Befrienders Kenya
https://www.befrienderskenya.org (chat support)
Call or text +254 722178177 (from 7:00 AM to 9:00 PM)
Call or text +254 736542304 (from 7: 00 AM to 9:00 PM)
befrienderskenya@gmail.com
Latvia
Skalbes
http://www.skalbes.lv
371 67222922 (from 9:00 to 17:00)
371 27722292 (from 9:00 to 17:00)
Lithuania
Lithuanian Association of Emotional Support Lines
http://www.klausau.lt
Vaikų Linija (Child line)
http://www.vaikulinija.lt
116 111 (from 11:00 AM to 9:00 PM)
Jaunimo Linija (Youth line)
http://www.jaunimolinija.lt/laiskai/
8 800 28888
Vilties Linija (Hope line)
http://www.kpsc.lt/vilties_linija.html
116 123
vilties.linija@gmail.com
Pagalbos Moterims Linija (Women’s line)
http://www.moteriai.lt
8 800 66366 (from 10:00 AM to 9:00 PM)
pagalba@moteriai.lt
Linija Doverija (Trust Line)
8 800 77277 (Monday - Friday, 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM)
Luxembourg
SOS Détresse – Hëllef iwwer Telefon
http://www.454545.lu
454545
Kanner-Jugendtelefon
http://www.kjt.lu
116 111
Mexico
Instituto Hispanoamericano de Suicidologia, A.C
+5255 46313300
info@suicidiologia.com.mx
Decide Vivir México, A.C.
decidevivirmexico@gmail.com
Netherlands
113
https://www.113.nl/
0900-0113 (free, anonymous 24 hour hotline)
New Zealand
Depression Hotline
http://www.depression.org.nz
0800 111 757
The Lowdown
http://www.thelowdown.co.nz
SMS: 5626
Youthline
http://www.youthline.co.nz
0800 376 633
SMS: 234
talk@youthline.co.nz
parenttalk@youthline.co.nz
Lifeline Aotearoas Suicide Prevention Helpline
0508 828 865
Nigeria
Nigeria Suicide Prevention Initiative - NSPI
http://www.facebook.com/nspinitiative/
+234 (0)809210643
nspinitiative@gmail.com
Norway
Kirkens SOS
http://www.kirkens-sos.no
http://www.soschat.no/chat (chat support)
224 00 040 (from 11:00 to 23:00)
Mental Helse Hjelpetelefonen
116 123
Sidetmedord.no
http://www.sidetmedord.no (chat support)
ROS –Rådgivning om spiseforstyrrelser
http://www.facebook.com/nettros.no (chat support)
948 17 818
info@nettros.no
Palestine
sahar.org.il
جمعيه سهر: دعم واصغاء عبر الانترنت
جمعية سهر هي جمعية بدون اهداف ربحية والتي تهدف الى مساندة الاشخاص في ضائقة
Poland
Telefon Zaufania dla Dzieci i Młodzieży (for children and youth)
http://www.116111.pl/napisz (chat support)
116 111
Portugal
SOS VOZ AMIGA
http://www.sosvozamiga.org
21 354 45 45 (16h-24h)
91 280 26 69 (16h-24h)
96 352 46 60 (16h-24h)
Romania
Alianta Romana de Preventie a Suicidului
http://www.antisuicid.com/
https://www.facebook.com/Alianta-Romana-de-Preventie-a-Suicidului-156170394409923/
0800801200 (from 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM)
sos@antisuicid.com
Serbia
Centar Srce
http://www.centarsrce.org
0800 300 303
vanja@centarsrce.org
Singapore
Samaritans of Singapore (新加坡援人協會)
http://samaritans.org.sg
1800 221 4444
pat@samaritans.org.sg
Slovakia
Linka detskej istoty (24/7 helpline for children and youth under 18)
http://www.ldi.sk (chat support between 7:00 PM - 11:00 PM)
116 000
Linka detskej dôvery
https://www.linkadeti.sk/linka-detskej-dovery (chat support)
055/234 72 72
Skype: linkadeti
odkazy@linkadeti.sk
Linka dôvery (for adults)
055/622 23 23 (Monday - Friday, 7:30 - 19:30 and nonstop Saturday - Sunday)
Linka nádeje (for adults)
055/644 11 55 (Monday - Friday, 7:30 - 19:30, nonstop Saturday - Sunday)
Liga za duševné zdravie (for adults)
https://www.dusevnezdravie.sk/online-poradna/
02/638 15592
IPčko
0907 404 291
ipcko@ipcko.sk
South Africa
The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG)
http://www.sadag.org
0800 567 567
0800 70 80 90
0800 12 13 14
SMS: 31393
South Korea
HopeClick
http://www.hopeclick.or.kr
중앙자살예방센터 (Korea Suicide Prevention Center)
http://www.spckorea.or.kr
+82 2-2203-0053
spc@spckorea.or.kr
보건복지부 보건복지콜센터 (Ministry of Health & Welfare Call Center)
129 (24시간 위기상담 / 24 hour hotline)
정신건강증진센터 정신건강위기상담전화 (Mental Health Center Crisis Counseling)
1577-0199 (24시간 위기상담 / 24 hour hotline)
Spain
Teléfono de la Esperanza
http://telefonodelaesperanza.org
717 003 717
Sweden
Mind
https://mind.se/
https://mind.se/sjalvmordslinjen/ (chat support)
90101
Switzerland
Tel 143
http://www.143.ch
https://www.143.ch/Beratung/Chat-Kontakt (chat support)
143
Taiwan
Taiwan Suicide Prevention Center (台灣自殺防治中心)
http://www.tspc.tw
0800 788 995
Ukraine
Ла Страда-Украина (La Strada Ukraine)
http://www.la-strada.org.ua/
0 800 500 335 (free calls from fixed and mobile phones all over Ukraine)
386 (free from mobile phones)
National Child Toll-Free Hotline (Monday - Friday 12:00 - 20:00, Saturdays 12:00 - 16:00)
0 800 500 225 (free calls from fixed and mobile phones all over Ukraine)
116 111 (free from mobile phones)



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I just saw this. Platty said it better than I could ever say.

Beyond that, hang in there.

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Can we get an update?

How are you doing?

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